TikTok audit
TikTok: what's actually risky, and the 5 switches to flip
TikTok's defaults are better than their reputation. The problem isn't a setting you forgot — it's a feed with no ending.
TikTok's defaults for under-18s are stricter than most parents expect: accounts for 13 to 15 year-olds are private from the start, direct messages are locked out until 16, and livestreaming and buying coins are 18-only.
So the thing worth understanding isn't privacy, it's the feed. The For You page is built from every like, comment, follow, watch-time and skip to work out what keeps you watching — and it has no last page, no final video, nothing that says you're finished.
That's why the useful controls here are about time and reach rather than about who can see your child's videos.
Before you flip anything
What the platform does without you
Minimum age
TikTok's terms set 13 as the minimum to hold an account, and note it can be higher depending on local law. Direct messages need 16, livestreaming and buying coins need 18 (19 in South Korea).
TikTok Support · Official help centre, currentBy default
Accounts for 13-15 year-olds are private by default: only approved followers can see their videos, bio, likes and follower lists, and other people can't duet, stitch, download or re-story their videos.
TikTok Support · Official help centre, currentBy default
Accounts for 16-17 year-olds start private too, but the user can change it. The floor for direct messages is 16.
TikTok Support · Official help centre, currentBy default
Family Pairing's Screen Time Management defaults to 60 minutes a day for 13-17 year-olds, with a screen-time dashboard giving a four-week summary of daily minutes and how often the app was opened.
TikTok Support · Official help centre, currentMust-flip
The switches worth changing
0 of 5 done
Pair your account to theirs
Family Pairing is the door to everything below. Scan the code from their phone with yours and the controls appear on your device, so you're not negotiating over a screen that's in their hands.
Their phone: Profile>Settings and Privacy>Family Pairing
Set a screen time that isn't the default
The default is 60 minutes a day. Decide what's right for your household and set it, then set the passcode so an extension needs you rather than a tap. Sixty minutes is a starting number, not a recommendation.
Family Pairing>Screen Time Management
Under 12: If they're under 13 they shouldn't have an account at all — TikTok's own minimum is 13. Say that plainly rather than pretending it's a grey area.
Close direct messages
DMs are the single most useful thing to close, because that's where the public comment section becomes a private conversation. Restrict them to no one, or to friends only if your child genuinely knows every friend.
Family Pairing>Direct Messages
Watch for this: The minimum age for DMs is already 16, so a 13 or 14 year-old shouldn't be able to send them at all. Check it's actually off rather than assuming.
Set what strangers can make from their videos
Duet, Stitch, downloads and the ability to use their video as a sticker are separate permissions. Turning them off stops a private clip becoming someone else's content.
Settings and Privacy>Privacy
Turn on Restricted Mode and filtered keywords
Restricted Mode filters content at the account level and filtered keywords strip certain comments. Both are imperfect and both are worth having on — just don't count them as a wall.
Settings and Privacy>Content preferences>Restricted Mode
Watch for this: TikTok renames these controls regularly. Confirm the exact label in-app before you tell another parent where to find it.
Watch for this
What to notice, not just what to block
Watch for this
The 60-minute default doing nothing
A screen-time limit only bites if the passcode is set. Without it, 'ignore limit' is one tap and the number on the dashboard quietly stops meaning anything.
Watch for this
Gifts, coins and livestreams
Sending a gift in a livestream is spending, dressed up as applause. The floor is 18 — if money is leaving your account, someone found a workaround.
Watch for this
The comment section as a doorway
Public comments are where contact starts, and then moves to DMs. The comment section is the thing to watch, not the video.
Worth knowing
A private account is not the same as a safe feed
Private means nobody sees their videos. It doesn't change what the For You page shows them, which is the part that eats the evening.
Honest limits
What these settings won't do
Time limits show minutes, not content
Family Pairing tells you how long and how often. It does not tell you what they watched, which is usually the actual question.
Restricted Mode is a filter with a ceiling
It catches the obvious and misses the edge. It's worth having on and not worth trusting.
The feed is the product
No setting gives your child a stopping point, because the design deliberately doesn't have one. The stopping point has to come from outside the app.
Before the download
Three questions to agree out loud
These aren't a test. They're the conversation that makes a yes safe — and they work for an app that isn't on this list too.
- 1What do you actually watch on it — show me three videos you saw today.
- 2Who can reply to you, and what do you do when a stranger starts being friendly in the comments?
- 3What's your plan for when the feed won't stop and you've been watching for an hour?
Settings vs street smarts
Controls set the boundary. Judgement keeps them safe when you're not looking.
A screen-time limit decides when the app closes. It doesn't decide anything about the comment that turns into a DM, or the friend request from someone who shares three of their interests a little too precisely. NetWise Kids puts them in a realistic group chat, DM or trade request and lets them practise saying no — before the real one arrives.
Other audits
The other four apps
Evidence
Where every number on this page comes from
Nothing here is estimated. If a figure couldn't be sourced, it was cut.
TikTok Support
Official help centre, current
Teen privacy and safety settings
The platform's own documentation
TikTok restates and supersedes its January 2021 policy post on this page. Age floors can differ by country.
TikTok Support
Official help centre, current
The platform's own documentation
Screen Time Management defaults to 60 minutes a day for 13-17 year-olds. Exact labels for filtered-keyword controls should be confirmed in-app.
TikTok Safety
Official parent guide, current
The platform's own documentation
TikTok Legal
Last updated July 2025
Summary of Terms and Conditions
The platform's own documentation
States 13 as the minimum, which may be higher under local law.
TikTok Newsroom
18 June 2020
How TikTok recommends videos #ForYou
The platform's own documentation
The platform's own account of how the feed is built — the best source on the mechanism, not on its effects.
TikTok Privacy Center
29 August 2025
The For You feed: Explaining how your TikTok feed is shaped
The platform's own documentation